Who CARES What Jesus Would Do?

Yeah…so after moping an extended period after receiving a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” email today from another prospective employer, I sat for a while, taking stock of my life and it came to me – I make shitty decisions. For the last two years (well all my life really, but the last two years in particular) I’ve been making choices that undermine my career, my health, my relationships and my happiness and today I resolved to employ a new strategy.

You know those stupid bumper stickers from a few years ago that said “WWJD – What Would Jesus Do?” I’ve decided from here on out, I’m using the WWNND approach — “What Would Neilie Not Do?”

This strategy is based on the fact that all the good, healthy decisions are made by people fitter, wealthier and more confident than I while I continually make decisions tailor-made to screw things up. Now does it make sense? All I have to do to turn my life around is every time an important decision arises, ask myself, “What Would Neilie Not Do?”

Am I lumbering around with 20 extra pounds of flab hanging off my butt? Neilie would not go to the gym and do something about it, so I’ll go. Fifteen story ideas sitting around unfinished? Neilie would not get to work on wrapping them up so I’ll jump right in and finish them. New ideal job posting online but there’s a Ghost Hunters marathon on Syfy? Neilie would watch the marathon and not apply for the job, so I’ll say “to Hell with Jay and Grant” and work on getting my resume together.

It all boils down to ignoring every last one of my lazy impulses and lame-ass rationalizations and finally doing something to make my life the way I want it to be. It’s brilliant! Why didn’t I think of this before? I’ve gotta get a self-help book deal or at least a guest appearance on Dr. Oz out of it.

Check back next week folks – by then I should have some WWNND bumperstickers printed up.

Comments (1) »

Leave a comment

XHTML– Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>