Nintendo Knows What Girls Like

I only became a handheld enthusiast about 6 months ago. Before then, I didn’t think the handheld had anything to offer anyone over the age of 10 but once I got ahold of my husband’s DS lite and a game called Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, I was hooked.

I played the hell out of that game and couldn’t wait to get my hands on the sequel to it. I was perfectly satisfied living out my vicarious lawerly career on a borrowed DS until the day I discovered the existence of the pink DS.

From that day forward, my thoughts were consumed by a moral battle of great intensity and breadth. Having a perfectly good DS at my disposal, I hardly needed to blow another $130 on a second one just because it was PINK. Money aside, I hated to think that I could be so easily taken in by such transparent marketing manipulation. You know, the whole “Now in three colors – collect them all!” strategy. By far though, the hardest thing to come to terms with was well…my attraction to the pink.

As a kid I was a tomboy, and as a teenager embraced the whole punk thing–meaning, I wouldn’t have been caught dead associating with anything pink. Pink symbolized to me female subjugation, weakness, vanity, frivolity – all things I wanted nothing to do with. I remember the horror I felt one christmas when I was 16 and my older sister gave me a pair of pink Chuck Taylors. I pulled them out of the box with my fingertips and held them away from me like a dead rat, hoping to burn them at the earliest opportunity.

Having upheld this no-pink policy for most of my adult life, how then could I find myself so inexorably drawn to a bubblegum-colored video game gadget? The shame of it!!

I fought the impulse to buy it, telling myself I didn’t need to waste the money, and I held out for a good 3 months. Then a few days ago I was browsing for games and there it was – the adorable, shiny, cute-as-a-bug’s-ear pink DS! I couldn’t stop myself. I ran out after work and bought the damn thing. What can I say? I had a rough week. It was near that time of the month. My dog died. Whatever–all I know is, me and my pink DS are finally together and life is immeasurably better. It’s hardly been out of my hand for a week.

The lesson here? The lesson is that fighting temptation is pointless. Principles shminciples. From now on I’m giving in immediately — at least if the issue concerns something shiny and pink.

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